Jackie Brown in The Del Amo Heist

[daedal]

Jackie Brown in the Del Amo Heist.png

• daedal
• Mar 17, 2024

official poster for Jackie Brown in the Del Amo Heist

(edited to reflect the new orientation of this project)

Watch the trailer

I have a love-hate relationship with this movie. Not the best Tarantino but far from boring. I love Robert Forster’s character and think the movie should have given him a more important part. So if I sum up:

INTENTIONS​

1. Bringing forward Robert Forster’s character, to reframe the narrative
2. Reordering the scenes to build one chronological heist montage
3. Trimming and recutting scenes to lower the runtime of the movie

CHANGE LIST​

Technical modifications​

• Aspect ratio modified to 2:1 for a more cinematic look without losing too much
• Color correction to attenuate a slight reddish hue
• Added various sfx in scenes where I cut the main audio

Narrative modifications​

• Added: Presented in Univisium 2:1 aspect ratio disclaimer
• Added: A fan edit by Daedal
• Added: ‘‘based on the book Rum punch by Elmore Leonard’’
• Added the song: Will there be enough water? By The Dead Weather
• Moved opening credits to later
• Moved the scene when Ordell and Louis watch ‘Chicks who love guns’ tv show to later

00:00:04 Music starts

• Action starts when Ordell meets Max Cherry to get a bail bond for Beaumont
  • Removed most of Louis from that scene
• Removed Beaumont’s sequence entirely
• Removed Simone dancing for Louis
• 00:04:46 Inserted opening credits here, introducing Jackie
  • Modified the title to add: ‘‘In The Del Amo Heist’’
  • Cut the ending so it blends with the next scene when Jackie gets arrested by Ray
  • New song: Something Wicked This Way Comes, Lost Highway OST
• 00:12:37 Jackie in court, removed the jail scene that came before
• New song: Drum Battle, Whiplash OST, when Ordell tries to kill Jackie
• Moved the scene when Melanie and Louis get to know each other to later
• Moved the scene when Melanie schemes against Ordell with Louis to later
  • Removed the following scene when Louis and Ordell talk at the bar
• Jackie then tells Max her potential future is scarier than Ordell
• 00:38:31 Jackie tells Ray and Dargus that she will help them get Ordell
• Trimmed the scene when Jackie gets home and listens to Max’s voice message
• Removed the jail flashback when Jackie and Max chat at the Mall

00:50:48 Money Exchange Trial Run (rewritten)

• New song: Rocking Horse by The Dead Weather
• Fixed a continuity error with Jackie’s cigarette
• New song: Go To Hell by Nina Simone
• Removed the second time Max says ‘‘Could work’’ in the parking lot by himself
• Removed a shot of Melanie flirting with Louis while Ordell speaks on the phone

01:04:34 Melanie’s Sequence

• New song: Lost Due To Incompetence by Danny Kortchmar
• Most scenes inside Melanie’s house are grouped here in their original order. Although they have been trimmed down.

01:14:04 The Heist (instead of ‘‘Money Exchange, for real this time’’)

• Starts with the animation of a plane traveling to LAX. The sequence is pretty straightforward and blends all the characters’ scenes in one chronological heist montage
  • Removed the scene when Ordell calls Louis to ask him why he’s late
  • Recut the scene when Jackie and Max drive to the mall
    • New song: I’ll be waiting by Adele
  • Melanie and Louis arriving late
    • The original ‘Escape’ song is laid over the new montage
  • Melanie gets killed
    • New song: The Gambling Priest by Danger Mouse
  • Louis leaves the mall
  • Jackie screams for Ray’s help
  • Max leaves the Mall
• 01:25:01 Jackie and Ray in the interrogation room is intercut with Louis picking up Ordell
• Removed Max asking Winston: ‘‘Good enough?’’ to fix a drop in the background noise
• Added for a second time the song Drum Battle while Ordell and Louis talk in the van
• 01:36:40 New song: Dub Driving from the Lost Highway OST during phone call
• Cut the ‘my ass is dumb’ line from Ordell
• Removed and reordered shots with Max and Ordell in the car
• Removed Jackie singing in the car before the end credits

01:53:16 End Credits

• New song: Rolling in the deep by Adele
• Modified the songs’ section to represent the new edit
• Modified the end title logo
• Added a final title card with my name and year

Please note that English is not my first language, I apologize for things I write that may sound weird!

 

[daedal]

Alright, I think I'm done with the new scene layout.
I noticed a couple of things I got wrong in the first place. In order for the movie to work best, I will introduce Jackie just a little bit before Max meets her. Max's scenes and Jackie's will be alternating. That way I can keep the amazing shot during the opening credits.
I also realized that many scenes are made of long uninterrupted takes making it harder to cut inside of those scenes. I know it's frequent in Tarantino movies to have long conversations but in this one, they are not always that interesting, neither used to build tension. I wish I could reduce some of them a bit more but to avoid jump cuts, I'll have to remove only the beginning or the end of those scenes, when possible and/or needed.
I also wished there would be more establishing shots. Outside Jackie’s apartment is seen once, but too much is going on to be reused as an establishing shot. Then Melanie’s condo is always shown from inside. I guess I could use any other shots of beach apartments for Melanie’s. I’ll deal with it if and when I need it.

 

[daedal]

Moved content to the original post

 

[ArtisDead]

I like where you are going with this. There may be another Jackie Brown edit soon.

 

[daedal]

@ArtisDead is a real motivator! I will be spending more time on this project in the coming weeks.
I already have an updated change list but its minor. I'll post it soon, but the most important change is I definitely removed the scene with Jackie and Max at the end (it could be nominated for worst kiss in cinema history). I'm also starting to think about the changes I can do to the score. This movie looses a lot of its Tarantino feel when you remove all the music. I think this part is going to be harder than I imagined. At least, the project is going in the right direction!

 

[daedal]

I've been working on this movie for some time now, and I keep telling myself it has a slight reddish hue... I'd like to have your opinion about it. I've tested it with 3 different monitors/tv and it's always there. I have a screen grab that I'd like to upload here. Could someone help me out with that?

 

[daedal]

I have exported a little piece I've been working on yesterday. Tell me what you think.

 

[futon88]

Jackie arrives at the mall about 10 minutes before max (3:52), but you've trimmed her timestamp out. Is that deliberate to keep the audience guessing? If not, you may want to keep the shot of her pulling into the parking space so we can see the time.

I like your choice of music, but you may need to restore some sound effects to sell it (mall ambience, footsteps, car sounds, etc.).

 

[daedal]

Hey thanks for the comments! For the timing, It looks weird to have them both pull in at the same time while showing 2 different time stamps. The montage shows them both arriving at the mall, their timing is not that important anymore.
And I'll make sure to search for sound effects. I didn't think about that honestly!

 

[daedal]

I have to admit the movie is better with its original ending. not talking about jackie singing in her car, the scene with the kiss... well I like the scene more than I hate the kiss. so it's back on. I also spent some time doing the sfx for my previous clip. here's the link

 

[futon88]

I like the music. Will you have this jazz/bebop sound throughout the 'edit?

I'm familiar with this part of the movie, and I know the center channel isn't clean ("Street Life" is front-and-center), so I know how much work it was to add those SFX! I recommend dropping the music some so the sounds break through more...

 

[daedal]

yeah about the music you are totally right.
I have some other pieces of music throughout but in lot of places you just can't get rid of them. Exotic Dance from the Coffy soundtrack seems to appear every time there's more than 2 persons talking...
thanks for the tip

 

[futon88]

Yes, those Roy Ayers songs are sprinkled throughout in a fairly repetitive way, aren't they? Sometimes only in channels 1/2 (whew), but often in 3...

 

[daedal]

I'm working on the new title visuals and I've come up with those 4. I know which one I prefer, but frankly, I think I hate them all equally. well hate is a bit strong, but you know... I'm never completely satisfied whit what I do.. anyways.

I'm looking for your favorite of the 4, or recommandations on how to improve it. thanks!

 

[Swithap]

I like where your going with A, B is my second fav'

 

[futon88]

You could try replacing the title entirely, then do something that matches the existing font and wipe style exactly...

You could also try something funky where your second title is stuck to the wall as a poster or something, and have it pass behind Jackie (after the main title fades away).

FYI: It's two words: "Del Amo".

 

[daedal]

You could try replacing the title entirely, then do something that matches the existing font and wipe style exactly...

You could also try something funky where your second title is stuck to the wall as a poster or something, and have it pass behind Jackie (after the main title fades away).

FYI: It's two words: "Del Amo".

Lol I realized the spelling mistake the next day when working on the poster!! Your first idea is out of my skill set unfortunately but you other suggestion sounds great and fitting with the tone I'm going for, thanks

 

[Dwight Fry]

I like 2 and 4, in that order. They're the ones that look the most like something that'd be used in an actual theatrical movie.

 

[daedal]

This entire project proves to be more difficult than I expected. I think I've accomplished the edit I was hoping to do, but it just doesn't feel like I thought it would. The whole film noir feel isn't there. editing it from Max Cherry's point of view doesn't work well. separating characters by chapters like I intended would blend well with the noir genre but in its absence, it feels a bit out of place. I want to complete this project but I can't make it the way I originally intended. I have to rethink the way I'm going to approach the movie and it will assuredly become a less ambitious edit. I'll revise the change list when I'm set on the new direction. Thanks for all the support and advice, it does help and allows to improve my work!

 

[daedal]

I updated the change list in the first post to reflect the new direction of this project. I divided it into the classical 3-act structure for clarity. I know these things are sometimes interpreted differently depending on the viewer. But it will give you a better insight on how I approach this movie and how I’m trying to tell its story.

Act 1 or setup. We are introduced to the main characters, Max and Ordell then Jackie. After Max has met Jackie, she confides and basically tells him that she is willing to do anything to get out of her miserable situation. That to me, is the first plot point.
Act 2 or confrontations. We witness how Jackie maneuvers between Ordell, Ray, Melanie and how she convinces Max to help achieve her goals. The midpoint of the movie lends perfectly between the Trial run and the actual heist. When everyone has escaped the mall, Jackie learns that Ordell has also escaped the police. Her life is threatened, to me that’s signaling the second plot point or the end of this act.
Act 3 or resolution. Ordell’s entourage is getting thin and he is getting mad. Jackie plays her cards one by one until the end, until every threat to her is dealt with. She even has the Feds kill Ordell for her! Wow! That deserves to end with a nice kiss

I grouped Melanie’s scenes together just before the heist. That’s a remnant of my first concept, dividing characters by chapters. It really only worked with Melanie though… It also depicts Louis as a more mysterious character and I like it. Finally, I added back the end scene that I despised so much when I started, but it’s necessary for our main characters. The progression of their relationship is how this movie advances. Cutting the end was the worst thing I could have done.

I hope this update was interesting and clear. I hope my new direction doesn’t disappoint too much. I could not pull it off with the tone, look and feel I imagined at first, but narratively speaking it’s the same fan edit I wanted to do.
I’m currently exchanging notes with a Tarantino/Jackie Brown expert. The work is not done but I think it’s heading the right way.