P I C A R D - J U N E

[Wraith]

JUNE 6th, 2021

There will be no per-se thread updates, just DATA (and some DATA explanations).
(Though this entry will be edited a bit and SPOILER FREE)

Any Qs?
PM me

2 Movies
2h 30ish min each
2.5 hours removed (YUP!)
900+ changes
Subtle score enhancements
Characters Improved (all of them)
Dead ends removed
New sequences
New opening
New ending
NO MAGIC "fix anything" DEVICE
Believable villains (no cartoon like)
No Silly French Accent
F bombs (2 left)
New establishing shots
In the style of Classic Movies
Data fixed
re-sequencing
3 act structure to both films
Needless exposition removed
and much, much more.

DELETED MATERIAL (partial) the other 900 trims will be in the cut list (yes there is one)

Soji Boston (use shots New Intercut 1)

Dash Mother

Picard Hkeep reconstruct (intercut A)

Picard at Starfleet Lobby

Soji Cadet Narek

Picard & Comm badge

Picard calls Raffi on pad

Rios and Holo chat

Vashti Flashback 2

Soji watches Ronda Video

Picard arrives at Romulan Settlement

Narek Soji chat over a drink

Picard Quat Milat 2

Narek Soji Socks in corridor

Picard and Elnor 1

Picard walk and settlement fight

Seven Domes

Holo greetings from Freecloud

Picard Raffi goodbye to see son and whole sub-plot

Raffi and Son

Picard Raffi in quarters

Rios Jurati Chat-up Kiss

Bridge Raffi sweetchat Federation

Raffi Rios about Son

Hugh tour for Picard

Sirena held in Tractor beam

Nariss Hugh Borg

Sirena released from Tractor beam

Picard Troi chat kestra

Raffi Jurati chat about excitement

Troi Soji Tomatoes

Picard Troi chat teenagers

Nariss Elnor fight 1

Narissa Ronda

Raffi ENH Nav Holo

Raffi and EEH Engineering Holo

Raffi an EHH Hospitality Holo

Rios reflects alone

Raffi Hollo Conference

Picard and Soji chat about sacrifice

Narek's fireside chat

Jurati operates the device (device does not exist in fact)

Multiple Sirenas appear

Shoji vists Picard choice chat

WHAT IS THAT OH, Pattern 5

There are hundreds, engage them

 

[Wraith]

STATS
Would anyone like to see the scene analysis used for planning?

			Gross RT	END	OPEN	Ex titles	Previously	Net RT
		EP01	00:43:22​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:40:39​	00:00:00	00:40:39​
		EP02	00:43:35​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:40:52​	00:01:40	00:39:12​
		EP03	00:42:45​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:40:02​	00:01:45	00:38:17​
		EP04	00:44:41​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:41:58​	00:01:16	00:40:42​
		EP05	00:45:37​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:42:54​	00:01:35	00:41:19​
		EP06	00:54:04​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:51:21​	00:01:00	00:50:21​
		EP07	00:58:23​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:55:40​	00:01:36	00:54:04​
		EP08	00:55:26​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:52:43​	00:01:33	00:51:10​
		EP09	00:45:32​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:42:49​	00:01:25	00:41:24​
		EP10	00:56:57​	00:01:08​	00:01:35​	00:54:14​	00:02:43	00:51:31​
		TOTAL	08:10:22​			07:43:12​	00:14:33	07:28:39​
					Avg Ep	00:46:19​		Net RT	00:44:52​
Echoes of Lament	Pt 1	02:31:08​	00:01:08​	00:02:00​	02:28:00​	00:00:48	02:28:00​
Means of Redemption	Pt 2	02:40:59​	00:01:08​	00:03:03​	02:36:48​	00:03:04	02:33:44​
		TOTAL	05:12:07​					05:01:44​	Net Total
		Gross Cut	02:58:15​					02:26:55​	NET CUT

 

[asterixsmeagol]

I can't believe some of those original episodes were under 40 minutes.

 

[Wraith]

I can't believe some of those original episodes were under 40 minutes.

If it's poor, it will drag!
In my head, it was 10 hours (felt like 20hrs). Those are the actual run times etc. I was curious, so I analyzed it (as I'm prone to do).

That's what PADDING does....

 

[revel911]

Super excited to see this as this show had brilliance hit with mediocity and forced fan service.

 

[Wraith]

Super excited to see this as this show had brilliance hit with mediocity and forced fan service.

HAHA... so, I said there would be no updates, just data...but spoiler free discussion? YUP...happy to "engage"....
NO updates why? This has been in the can for some time. Nothing to update anyone on.

An analysis of the car crash of this series is fascinating, and can be debated ad-infinitum. My own take?

Apologists blather on about "writers finding their feet" and "the series needs to find itself" BS. I say, write a good series writers bible, make sure they have seen more than one episode of TREK and hire good writers, pay them well and above GET A GOOD SCRIPT EDITOR steeped in TREK LORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead, it felt like the suits wouldn't commit to a single arc NOR an episodic structure. "Let's hedge our bets" I can imagine.... RESULT? An inevitable tug of war between the two competing story telling structures which leads to repetitive recapping exposition (afraid you will lose dipper inner and outers), misplaced action which is often neither character or plot driven (coz you gotta have BANG BANG PHASERS), and characterizations that are over/underwritten.

Take Jurati; pre-eminent scientist who behave like a ditsy blonde!. I mean, you put a decent actress in a strong part and then destroy her character by giving her stupid lines and silly things to do. and yes, she IS a much better actress than the final product shows WHEN the silliness etc is removed. The same for Raffi and Rios. Trust me on this one. These movies are a revelation! And don't get me started on JLP.... These films address all of that, and a whole lot more....much much more.

Finding their feet? GIVE ME A BREAK. OZARK hits the ground running with fully formed characters and a driven plot. Anyone watch THE LOOMING TOWER? COMPULSIVE and that's where the viewer KNOWS what is going to happen but the writing just SUCKS you in immediately.

DISCOVERY by the way is unfixable....a catastrophe. Plus you need actors, not people "pretending" to act. I won't point fingers, but FFS, sack half the cast as far as i'm concerned (easily explained away by having them sucked into a singularity in the warp core after Empress Georgiou uses the lavatory)....OOPS....I pushed my own button again.

 

[asterixsmeagol]

I've said this to Wraith before, but in general my problems with the Kelvin timeline and Discovery & Picard is that the producers are more interested in big reveals at the end of the movie/season and aren't willing to put in the effort to make us care about the characters or give them good in-story motivations. The idea of a Klingon civil war in Discovery was interesting to me, but they wanted to jump straight into

Reveal message

the Ash/Voq story without really letting us get to know T'Kuvma or Voq, or making Ash likeable before we were supposed to turn against him.

They never really explain anything about

Reveal message

Michael's parents, and then we jump into the "reveal" of the Red Angel being her mom.

They tend to have good first two episodes of a season, then a really slow middle, then a rushed final two episodes. I didn't really mind the updated ship design for modern television sensibilities (my wife probably wouldn't watch with me if it looked like a 1960s ship!) or the redesigned Klingons, but they don't put any thought into how the designs would fit into the world. The turbolifts flying through vast empty spaces inside the ships and the Klingons being almost unintelligible due to their dental fixtures are more of a negative to me than them not being "canon". (I'm saying they're not canon, that's up to Paramount. I'm just brining up the fact that some people reject Discovery in its entirety because of the stylistics changes in sets and makeup from the established visuals of TOS, TNG/DS9/VOY, and ENT. Those objections don't sway me.)

 

[asterixsmeagol]

PS, I got these edits from Wraith a while back, but I've been waiting to watch until I can get together with the friends I watched the original version with when it premiered on All Access. We had to stop because of the pandemic and finished by ourselves, so once they're all vaccinated we're going to do a "rewatch" of sorts with these movie cuts. I did preview the first few minutes and really liked what I saw before I made myself stop.

 

[Wraith]

I'm also not swayed by design changes, HECK, if you want classic Trek, watch it or Star Trek Continues and Star Trek New Voyages/Phase II...but that boat has sailed.

Acting and writing aside, Discovery had too much toe dipping and not actually diving into the issues that were skirted around. And on design, I love Saru, but for crying out load, design thinner prosthetics that an actor can emote thru. Just look at Rick Bakers apes for Time Burton's Planet of the Apes. Issues aside, that make up was OUTSTANDING and better than the CGI of the later trilogy.

Man do we all meander when buttons get pushed.

FRESH ideas folks, that's what trek needs.

I hope that Strange New Worlds dives into modern allegory....Here are some planets to visit:
- All the political leaders lie alternatively, they tell only the truth (can be tough to swallow folks)
- A virus has shut down the economy and so it all plays out on a simulation (a la Private Little War)
- A planet where the species change gender during their lifespan 4 times
- A planet where any transgression is met with the death penalty AND EVERYONE on the planet is ok with that. How's that for a Prime directive conundrum. It's how they control the population.

Picard season two should be a lot better hopefully BUT as much as I like Q, seriously? How about something new!

Sure, have an arc, tell one story, tell two, be episodic but have a vision...not Trek branded hack sci-fi.

 

[Wraith]

PS, I got these edits from Wraith a while back, but I've been waiting to watch until I can get together with the friends I watched the original version with when it premiered on All Access. We had to stop because of the pandemic and finished by ourselves, so once they're all vaccinated we're going to do a "rewatch" of sorts with these movie cuts. I did preview the first few minutes and really liked what I saw before I made myself stop.

now THAT's will power my friend!!!!!!

 

[Wraith]

I'm going to say this openly.

I'd like that these edits to stay within the community. Each will be watermarked digitally and uniquely. I'd suggest not to leak them outside of this place. Sure, watch with friends etc, but keep them at home or as it were, in here AND PLEASE BUY THE SERIES.

 

[Wraith]

Today's DATA

Answer to follow:
There is a clue in there.

8	6
2	7
3	8
1	7
2	8
3	9
2	9
3	10
2	9
3	10
7	9
3	10
4
6
4
5
4
6
5
4
5
6
5
6

 

[asterixsmeagol]

867-5309

 

[DANLAV05]

Ooh Picard as a two-part movie? Nice!

i was never satisfied with Nemesis as an ending for Picard, Riker, Worf etc. so I was surprised and glad Picard was announced (Sir Pat had previously insisted he was done with Jean-Luc) I enjoyed the series and I am looking forward to seeing where it goes. My only wish if he was still in Starfleet on the Enterprise-F with a senior crew staffed by TNG-DS9-VOY vets. I have explored an alternative post-NEM universe through my fan fic and fan edits.

Picard is not 'TNG mk2' but in the lead up it felt like it might be that fifth TNG movie we never got.

 

[Wraith]

867-5309

Jenny?

 

[Wraith]

I think Picard was better than many assessed initially, myself included, because the things that were off WERE REALLY OFF. That then taints ones viewing and so the downward spiral begins. Or put another way (and please lets all be honest folks) but season 1 of TNG, with a few notable exceptions, is actually dire including many of the performances etc. Go on, grab a TNG episode at random and keep score of your winces....then do the same for an episode of Picard. I hazard that TNG wince factor is higher....Anyone care to test that?

 

[dkerin]

I think Picard was better than many assessed initially, myself included, because the things that were off WERE REALLY OFF. That then taints ones viewing and so the downward spiral begins. Or put another way (and please lets all be honest folks) but season 1 of TNG, with a few notable exceptions, is actually dire including many of the performances etc. Go on, grab a TNG episode at random and keep score of your winces....then do the same for an episode of Picard. I hazard that TNG wince factor is higher....Anyone care to test that?

Absolutely agree. Season 1 of TNG for me was painful to sit through, and I remember being so excited for a new Star Trek to be on air (oh so many years ago!). Some good things in there, but overall for me that season has more cringe than awe. With ST-PICARD, when it hit those good moments it had me hook, line and sinker. But then would come moments that felt so off and forced. Out of place with the ST world. But I have been hoping someone would take on a Picard edit because I felt there was a lot of really good moments in there. Excited to see what you come up with!

 

[Wraith]

Absolutely agree. Season 1 of TNG for me was painful to sit through, and I remember being so excited for a new Star Trek to be on air (oh so many years ago!). Some good things in there, but overall for me that season has more cringe than awe. With ST-PICARD, when it hit those good moments it had me hook, line and sinker. But then would come moments that felt so off and forced. Out of place with the ST world. But I have been hoping someone would take on a Picard edit because I felt there was a lot of really good moments in there. Excited to see what you come up with!

I too recall the excitement but also the awful feeling of being let down too. Loved the ship, loved the uniforms, some stories...well MEH for some, and some real re-hashed ones too. Tasha annoyed me, I wasn't sure about the bald fellow...and Code of Honor, Skin of Evil (TASHA woo hoo) and The Naked Now were low points. BUT THEN, Conspiracy and The Neutral Zone came along.....That's when I could smell hope...

Season two, some big improvements and then Lightening in a Bottle struck with Season 3.................

 

[dkerin]

Yes... season 3 and 4 really brought some fantastic Treks! Big turning point for me was going from Star Trek V, trying to convince myself I liked it more than I really did... then watching Yesterday's Enterprise on TV and realizing television just outdid the major motion picture.

 

[Wraith]

I'd seen Ghostbusters II a few days before ST V, and I was disappointed but buoyed by the expectation. I was in Florida on vacation and we nearly missed the beginning of the movie...and what an opening....Alas......