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Spies Like Us - The Bailey Cut


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As a kid in the ‘80’s, I loved Spies Like Us, and still do. It was (and still is) one of those movies that when I come across on TBS or something, I must watch. But there was an idea posted by u/gnarlin on Reddit that I liked. The idea was to cut Spies Like Us into a more serious movie. I thought, just for fun, I'd give that a shot. Well, that idea didn't really work, but from that came another idea.

While rewatching I was reminded that this movie is not just a comedy, but it is a very slapsticky comedy. Some of the jokes are way over the top. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I wondered what it would look like as a more straightforward comedy. A little more serious, but still a comedy. So, I trimmed a whole bunch of slapstick, buffoonery, silliness and things that are a little over the top.

Here's the change list of what I can remember:

· Changed the music from the musical that Fitz-Hume is watching to something more patriotic and trimmed the scene around it.

· Trimmed the test scene. Removed some of the over-the-top buffoonery and the fart.

· Trimmed the screaming during the airplane jump.

· Trimmed silliness from the ninja scene. Cut Fitz-Hume trying to use his sister as a bargaining chip. Cut Fitz-Hume’s “hello” instead of saluting. And more.

· Trimmed the training montage. Cut the impact simulator. Cut frozen faces after the G-force test. And rearranged scenes.

· Trimmed the “need to take a leak” conversation.

· Trimmed the “good night, sleep tight” conversation during the getaway from the Russians.

· Cut Fitz-Hume checking the tongue and them both hopping away while tied up.

· Kept the Doctor – Doctor – Doctor – etc. scene because I like it.

· Trimmed and cropped Fitz-Hume grabbing Boyer’s boob.

· Cut Bob Hope’s cameo.

· Trimmed the surgery scene. Cut Millbarge flipping through the book and not knowing where to incise. Trimmed Fitz-Hume fumbling with the surgical tools.

· Trimmed some silliness from the getaway following surgery.

· Trimmed the endless elevator and the screams during it.

· Cut Fitz-Hume speaking camel.

· Cut Fitz-Hume’s “you’ll thank me.”

· Trimmed Fitz-Hume’s silly shock at the Russians showing up while he’s the hostage.

· Trimmed Millbarge’s falling down the hill. It went on way too long.

· Trimmed the bad guys’ silly back and forth with the grenade, they don’t have forever to run away now, and they likely die in the explosion. Credit u/gnarlin, this scene is where this idea began.

· Cut Fitz-Hume falling when trying to jump over the logs.

· Cut the “high-ho Silver, away!” line.

· Cut the “so what, so we owe them a cow?” and “how do we get one?” lines.

· Cut the punk girls tv exploding while watching MTV.

· Cut Fitz-Hume’s “you have a tent?” line.

· Cut Fitz-Hume trying to take the rock to Millbarge.

· Trimmed the amount of time that Fitz-Hume is being shocked.

· Cut Fitz-Hume’s “can I borrow your tent?” line.

· Cut Mr. Ruby and Mr. Keyes lines about being kidnapped.

· Trimmed end credits and changed the music.

There are many more small trims, this list covers all the big ones.
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