Yeah the "They hate Star Trek" is a bit hyperbolic but it's just so difficult to believe that "they like Star Trek". e.g the writers pitch
"We absolutely love that old show about a vision of future science, diplomacy, exploration, limitless resources, peace and hope but our new reboot is going to be about the past, arguing, extreme violence, prejudice, war, poverty and misery. So it's just a minor twist on the old formula". Is it a minor twist though? or the opposite of what it was before, are you sure you like this property guys?
The core message of the
'Star Trek: First Contact' movie is that humanity's "answers are in the stars". It's the most action oriented, angry and violent of all the original ten ST movies (One of the main characters is even a shambolic hard drinker, which the new writers love) but it's still about that defining hopeful characteristic of the show winning out. So you can do a grittier take on ST but it needs to be about the vision of "trekking to the stars" on some level.
Quote from ST9 about going to the stars:
New writers
"Poverty, disease, war and division. They're back baby!"
The Star Wars thing is a completely different argument. From what I can see, it's fans bickering about which is the best, or worst written/directed/conceived continuation of the same basic idea. I don't hear people saying "Hey this doesn't have space battles, blasters, space cowboys and lightsabers in it. This isn't Star Wars!", they're just arguing about which is the worst written off-shoot of the original trilogy, in their opinion.
By the way, if you like the new ST stuff, I don't mind.